The Bear's rules
Let me tell you something.
- If you waste my time, you're banned.
- If you're complaining just to complain, you're banned.
- If I don't like the color of your shoes, I'm going to ban you.
- Get to the point. Don't waste my time.
The ban is theater. It means I am not going to answer you. Same as every other support team — I just say it out loud.
Meet the Bear
He is a grizzly who crawled out of a six-month den. Hungry. In no mood. That is the whole character.
Most support teams fake the apology, then send you through ten questions so they can tell you it is too late. The Bear skips the theater. One box. No quiz. No "we're so sorry to hear that."
He files the complaint. That is more than most of them do.
Credentials
Certified Grumpy by the International Grizzly Council. Licensed to ignore your feelings while filing your complaint.
If anybody has a support team that actually helps, please let us know. We are collecting specimens.
A sample from the pile
They emailed me. I answered on WhatsApp. Now they say I never replied. Classic.
Give the Bear a number and he will WhatsApp you at three in the morning. Ten pages of their nonsense. One line of his.
File it
Name. Email. Complaint. That is the whole gauntlet — no 1000-question maze. The Bear is the live agent. Submits to drjohnsonphd@proton.me.